ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.