u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
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Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.