Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?