The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
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I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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