literally had 100 drinks last night.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
