They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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