fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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