i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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