Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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