there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
