I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
