dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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