I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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