You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
