I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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