used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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