when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
