I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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