$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
