well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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