Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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