so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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