YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
