I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
