Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
