Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
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Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
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I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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