So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
