life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
