ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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