Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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