We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
