Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
