so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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