just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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