Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
