she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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