i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
