The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
