i permit you to call me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
