why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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