just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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