Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize