I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
