oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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