she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
