Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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