Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
