There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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