Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
