You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
