I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
