Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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