PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
In America we eat man semen.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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