Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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