...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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