well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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