i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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