idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So many bounce houses so little time
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There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
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I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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