dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
nutella sex= disaster
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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