listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
