So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
there is glitter all over my balls
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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