covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
