11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize