for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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