Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
