so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
