On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
