so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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