Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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