sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
