idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
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so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
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Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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