found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
