HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
