Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
