It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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