I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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