i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
