I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
