omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
