She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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