dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I enjoy the company of your penis
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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